We meet various kinds of people in our lives. Some will love us and respect us and always be kind with us. But I am not talking about them for this time. Let’s talk about the ones who disrespect us, insult us, cheat on us, hurt us, people who put us down and people who make you feel bad about yourself.
When you find yourself surrounded and affected by difficult, toxic and insulting people, check out the below ways on how to deal with them without affecting yourself. Just grab a drink and continue reading...
1.Don't criticize:
We criticize and complain about people, when they do something which we don’t like, hoping people will change. We try to react to whatever they say or do to us. When we criticize people we display a lack of empathy (understanding). Don’t criticize them as they are just doing what we would’ve done in similar situations. Don’t think that you are great and superior to other people. Understand and forgive them for their deeds. Don’t judge someone but try to understand their situation by placing yourself in their shoes. If people continuously criticize you, then just smile and say “you’re absolutely right”.
2.Have compassion:
Let’s take an example: if there is someone in your home who is bedridden but always talk negative about you. You tell yourself let’s leave it, he is not well physically and you don’t take it to your heart right?
We are not going to get upset with somebody who is not well right?
Similarly, take care of the people who are not well mentally. Don’t get angry, frustrated, upset, hurt or depressed by them.
In the same way, when people insult you or put you down, start thinking this way - this person might be in so much of hurt or pain. They might be in a bad mood for that day. Forgive them and move on with your life.
3.Don't take anything personally:
We say to people “don’t take it personally”, but we say ourselves “how can I not take it personally”. We say people “it was not about you”, but we say ourselves “obviously it was about me, he said that about me". We don’t care about ourselves as much as we care for our friends and family. We act like a victim of all the circumstances which take place in our lives.
4.Take care of yourself:
Each one is a pure, peaceful and beautiful soul. No one else knows you better than you. Nobody can disrespect, hurt or put you down, other than you. Talk nicely to yourself even if it is only you. Set standards and have boundaries.
“It is not about what people say to us, it is about what we say to ourselves after we hear what people say to us”
We need only one person to be nice to us, we need only one person to love us, and that is you yourself. Love yourself first. People won’t change because you believe that they will not change. But if you think that they are a beautiful and pure soul, one person will definitely change, you yourself.
5.Send your blessings:
Whenever you come across people who disrespect you, insult you or put you down, give them your blessings. Ever tried giving your blessings to people? If you think it doesn’t work then you didn’t try. It is like a science experiment. You can never know the result unless you try.
Appreciate them. Learn how to honestly compliment someone. Make the other person feel important by responding to them about how you feel in a good tone and not reacting. Have this mindset – Every person I meet is my superior. Think how and what can the other person teach you. The pets, plants and people in our house get affected by our minds.
6.Focus on your priorities:
Let me tell you a short story. A person wanted to resign his job. He went to the HR of the organization. The HR asked why he wanted to resign. He told that there are many manipulative people, gossipers and many politics all over the office. HR agreed to his point but on one condition. He asked him to carry a glass full of water and take one round of the entire office without spilling a single drop on the floor. He can leave the office if he still wants after completing this task. So he filled a glass of water and completed his round and he is back to HR office. HR asked him whether he found any negative people, manipulative people, gossips and politics this time? His answer was “no”. His focus was on the glass of water, not to spill it and hence he could not find any distractions in the office now. He was left with a choice to leave the office or focus on his glass of water – his priorities.
The moral here is, you will find many distractions, politics and various kinds of people wherever you go. But if you focus on your own water – your priorities, nothing can distract you from your goals in life.
7.Focus on positivity:
If you focus on the positive side of the life, you feel happy. But if you focus on the negative side, you feel sad. There are some people who say why is it too hot or why is it too cool or why is this person like that and so on. Do you want to become like them?
If it is hot, let it be hot. If it is cool, let it be cool and obviously you cannot change a person. Thinking more about it is a waste of time. If people are negative, let them be negative, just take responsibility of yourself and your life. Negative people don’t want to change their conditioning. Learn about the good side of the people. Don’t see the bad side of the people and get sad.
Conclusion:
Each person is a pure soul. There are no good people or bad people, but there are joyful people or miserable people. Just remember not to react to any situation which can lead to unforeseen consequences in future.
I understand that it is very hard to follow the above ways, not reacting to people’s behaviour towards you. This can start from identifying yourself with that behaviour and correcting it later. Start observing people, are they reacting to the situation, how are they reacting, what could they have done instead and how can you learn from them.
Dealing with people is not a one time skill, where you can learn at once and follow it for life. It is a life time education.
Let me know your thoughts below on this topic.
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